On Your Own...

First things first. This piece is not directed at any friend or a set of friends. It is a mere reflection of our lives and times. Every word here (or every barb here) is as much directed at myself as anybody else. As always, 99 percent of those who read beyond sentence #5, would dismiss this as another introspective nonsense (not) rooted in any logic. However, that, will abundantly help me reiterate what I call "the new normal" in our lives - " you are on your own - in happiness, in sorrow, on weekdays and on weekends" !

New normal !! Weird, isn't it? Its been like this forever, everbody on their own, right? Right. Or I guess at least since the time we started living in big metros with fat wallets and fatter sense of propriety. Our social structure became us - husband, wife and kid. Everybody else was just giving a guest appearance , that too on a weekend.

So, what's wrong with this structure? You work hard. You invest your time and energy trying to secure your future. When is the time to develop the social structure? What is the need? Absolutely no need when your life's on song. Quite logical.

But is there any need when life's not on song? Intriguingly, most of the folks around me seem to say "no need" even when life's not being too benevolent. "We have to be on our own", they say, in a voice that labors to be convincing. Hmm!

Amongst several things the West has bequeathed us, is this sense of being self-sufficient. You have a toolbox which can help you fix every problem that you have - no need to reach out to others. Now, this is great for self-development but I wonder if we are taking this toolbox thing over zealously. I wonder if folks consider it fashionable to be on their own, not enlisting help. I seriously wonder.

It seems that we are forgetting that there is a softer, emotional side to human beings that cannot always be catered to by toolboxes, movies, music and for that matter by the immediate family. There has to be a strong emotional connect which should bind human beings - a connect that should overlook schedules, preferences and even propriety. A connect that should prompt them to be more impromptu. Like, forgetting a weekday or a weekend chore and walking up (or driving down) to meet a friend(or a colleague or an acquaintance) who has ..well..just had a surgery!

Now you know what has stirred the sociologist and the philosopher in me! I underwent a surgery 5 days back. If you count the minutes of the procedure (30 min) or the fact that I was discharged 3 hours after being administered general anesthesia, you would think that this was a minor surgery. But if you were to see my daily travails ever since, you may think that the "minor" word is a touch harsh.

So, how did my social structure do? I called up my childhood friend in new york to inform him that I had finally decided to go under the knife. Next thing he does -he takes (an expensive) plane ride into charlotte the night before just to be with me on the D-day !! Works wonders for me.

Day of the surgery- some more support..a colleague takes half a day off, another lands at the hospital just to be around with plenty of moral support and sandwiches. Perfect !

Night of the surgery - a colleague and his wife living next door turn up to say hello. Another affable couple troop in with some food. This is great, I am thinking. My solid social structure is at work.

But ever since then? Just a few stray calls...Nobody has dared to fiddle with their sacrosanct weekend schedule and make a call, leave aside coming over. No doctor (outside the B'movies) will say that a smiling visitor is a substitute for the 600 mg ibuprofen. But every patient (in and outside the B'movies) would say that the 600 mg ibuprofen worked better when a smiling visitor was hanging around.

And this has what got me thinking - this philosophy of "everybody on their own" ("US mein yeh sab to khud hi karna padega") and this near charade of propriety ("its weekend, let's not disturb them") is perhaps robbing the spontaneity, fun and emotional elements out of human relationships. It seems everything needs to follow a script, every action is measured, every outcome is judged !

Now, would the situation have been any different if, let's say, another colleague would be in my position and I in theirs? My shameful answer is - no ! I would have mirror-imaged their actions. I have, in fact, done so in the past. Like when somebody's wife delivered a baby and we met them 4 months later due to "schedule conflicts".. Or when my friend's infant son in India was fighting a bitter battle with Cancer, I would call or write very occasionally. ("He has to, unfortunately, weather this on his own", I would say to my inner voice to mask my guilt)..or more recently, when my colleague's daughter split her lip after a nasty fall, I promised a visit but contented myself with a few follow-up phone calls.

So the finger stands pointed in my own direction. Undoubtedly.

But I wish this experience changes me.

I wish I break the barriers of propriety and connect with folks whenever MY heart says "yeah, go ahead".

I wish I wholeheartedly welcome folks who knock the door without notice or I wish I knock their doors without sending an advance memo (desis in US make mandatory phone calls before knocking the door btw).

I wish I make my social structure more meaningful for myself and for the folks in my social horizon.

I really wish I become a little more imperfect, and I wish others do too !

IPL 2 - The saga so far ....

The results have been somewhat expected. But the games have been more of truncated one-dayers than true T20 humdingers, thus styming the excitement..Suspect the players are still adapting..

So, on to the Leader Board - the defeat of CSKs in the first one hadn't been forecast by the Weathermen, hence, it came as a bit of a surprise.. .However, that loss is easy to account for..It was essentially due to the tactical error by MSD as most have opined. No Murali was a factor but worse was MSD not coming up the order at 18/2 like he did today.....

That the kings from Punjab were smashed was pretty much on the cards -makes me wonder who is deciding their bowling line-up ? The Royals' ship capsized and would likely suffer the same fate albeit the spell of bowling from Warnie has been the biggest joy...The way he set up Kohli and Akhil was completely mind-blowin.What a bowler !

Deccan Chargers' victory over KKR merits more print than others ...One had thought that KKR would perhaps roll over the Chargers, but amazing discipline shown by the Chargers and you know what - KKR look to be headed for that bottom pile as per forecasts....Dada was woeful, he really shouldn't play. I can't cringe about that anymore . Sadly, he is writing his epitaph in just the wrong form of the game...He should relax, have tea, and run his restaurant....Cricket for him should just be a blast from the past...

Now Dravid.. Although he has done his bit, but his brand of t20 isnt too exciting. Here, one expects the youngsters to take the stage and light it up...I have nothing against Dravid - he is undoubtedly one of the best India has ever produced, but I'd rather see the pure & pristine Dravid in a test match; the crash -boom -bang theory is for other students, not him...Same for Kumble....So wrapping up on the point of Old & Gold - Old is indeed gold but T20 needs the new glitter not the old treasure.

(Btw, RCs have so much of talent that they can't be ignored , but it seems that they can't gel well and play together...)

Final prognosis (for today :)) - the equations could change in the coming days - the Chargers may upset the applecart of one or two of the teams if the play with the same intensity and the Mumbai Indians could also become serious contenders not just rank outsiders....But even if that happens, the Daredevils , who seem firmly perched on their lofty mantle, do seem to have the wherewithal to cross the checkered flag first.....Veeru's captaincy is the only thing that could land them for that fatally long pit stop..

In fact, I am tempted to wager my last quids on the Daredevils or the CSKs, but for now, my mints are safely ensconced in my good old wallet. ...

Cricket in America

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Obamatch-NY-Yankees-vs-Mumbai-Indians/articleshow/4431612.cms

Interesting facts including one which states that the first international game on cricket was between Canada and USA in 1844 ! read on...

Worst Airports are from India !

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India_has_three_of_worlds_worst_airports/articleshow/3961794.cms

Best Cricket Books.....

1/3/09

This article on cricinfo describes the best books written on cricket . I have read 2 of these 42 books only, both of them being my favorite..I have read many more which are good which do not feature in here which means that the ones listed in here must really be very very good. Will be trying to source these and read when time lets me.

http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/magazine/content/current/story/369211.html

Port of Pain

Knives were being sharpened for the last one week, they are are out now. And so they should be.

I singularly blame the defeat to lack of "demonstrated" passion & intensity. What we see today is arrogance. Epitome of arrogance - Yuvraj Singh (Dada's prodigy).. Yuvraj plays a blistering inninngs, but does not show emotions. Runs himself out, watches India lose. Does not show any emotion either...Dhoni walks in with a swagger, and walks back the same way, don't know why. Sehwag rises from the ashes but can only rise as much to face the reporters and hit back..Ganguly makes runs against a depleted Lanka attack at home, bursts on the TV sets, mock sarcasm written all over his face...Plays in the world cup like a caged ....m.o.u.s.e not a tiger...That fear has a trickle down effect..Everybody plays with fear written over and digs the grave deeper...Not done with Ganguly yet, think his agenda was to make a 50 every match he played- irrespective it being the cause of the loss...I wish he settled scores with Chappell and Dravid outside the stadium , not at the expense of the Indian fan. ...Sachin, hah Sachin...."Sten Gun" was what we learnt Gavaskar called him when he started...He sure fired some bullets in his career ...mmmm.. lets see... 1992 Test Series in England, 1996 WC India-Aus Match at Bombay which we lost....Subsequent India -Aus Test series which India won in 1998 and 2001...and of course those two one day matches in Sharjah in 1998...More "recently" it was the 90 something in Centurian game vs. Pak in 2003 WC....Is that enough for him to be called the Best of the Best...Its appropriate the he gracefully exits, he deserves a graceful exit...Harbhajan.... Body language - Boy! I would have slit his throat. Agarkar, flatters to deceive, great burst of bowling followed by a pitiable effort with bat- as always...Rest..well they did their job. Zaheer the stand out guy. Intense, committed in his second innings.

Dravid. Equanimous. Vocal proponent of clinical approach. Can you mould the mercurial sub-continental psyche to a stable, clinical mindset ? Perhaps not. Need to inspire your team through emotion, passion, communication....I dare say , like Ganguly. ..Do it Dravid, talk tough , act tough. Probably the only honest cricketer, we'll soon lose him to piercing media questions.

I'll be keen to know if Tendulkar and Ganguly -more importantly, the latter, come out and take moral responsibility like Dravid . ....I fear Ganguly won't, and perhaps the Indian audience should then read between his "lies"....

Brace yourself for a 3-4 year uncertain period. These guys after all had class, or so we perceived and hence hoped for miracles now & then...The bench strength doesn't. Brace yourself for the oocasional great innings by Yuvraj (supremely talented), nothing else fits in the realms of imagination.

I almost feel our series against Bangla should not be broadcasted, no hype should be created...Coz some of the above will seek to redeem themselves (superficially though) and we would again comment on how they have regained their aura.

And one final word on the Indian fan. You are disgusting. Burning effigies is feeding media space, dethrone cricketers from their mantles, not burn effigies. I can even take irrational analysis of the defeat by completely uninitiated experts, not the news of people protests....Its such a sham, such a set-up by Channels....However, am afraid such reports will increase as the day wears on. Last seen, Patna is leading with mock cremations happening in front of the TV camera.

This isn't just a sport. This is a religion. Am I fan or a fanatic ? I am both, but if I become irrational, our Champions would laugh me off and continue to be arrogant.

Random at Best

The worst bowler I have ever seen........Salim Malik ! Yes, the fixer foxed many an Indian batsman specially in Sharjah One-dayers...

Will add more to this list as I go along.